Not The Kine Thing To Do

(I am an eight-year-old selling Girl Scout cookies. In Hawaii we speak pidgin. In pidgin the most common phrase is ‘da kine’ which is a relative term to be used for pretty much anything. Natives have this natural hatred for tourists, which I was raised with.)

Tourist: *stops car by where I was selling cookies* “Aloha! Can you point us to the mall?”

Me & Friends: *blank stare*

Tourist: “Oh! Can you speak E-n-g-l-i-s-h?”

Friends: *groan*

Me: *pulls the most shit-eating grin* “Oh, yeah, just drive past da kine.”

Friends: *grins and starts to play along*

Tourist: *confused* “Ah, yes, and where is that?”

Friends: “Oh, yeah, it’s right by da kine.”

Tourist: *obviously getting flustered*

Me: “Do you n-o-t u-n-d-e-r-s-t-a-n-d?”

Tourist: “I KNEW WE SHOULD HAVE GONE TO FIJI! STUPID ISLANDERS!”