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    In Need Of Some Self-Consolation

    | MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I own a hobby game and used video game store wherein discussion of games, systems, merits, and issues is common. A pair of guys, each with their girlfriends, are in. The girls aren’t gamers but are having fun. The guys are acting like they know what they’re talking about but clearly don’t. I tolerate it for a bit before one of them is an a** toward the young woman he’s with.)

    Woman: *looking at display boxes* “Which one’s better? Xbox or Playstation?”

    Guy: *over-dramatically, condescendingly, with zero sarcasm* “WELL! THE PLAYSTATION OBVIOUSLY!”

    Me: *less than thrilled with the condescending tone toward a legitimate question from a non-gamer* “Well, each of them have their merits.”

    Guy: “Yeah, well, the Playstation is the best one! It kicks the XBox’s a**!”

    Me: “It’s technically the more powerful, but people are pretty happy with the XBox’s network, especially after the Playstation network was hacked.”

    Guy: “Oh yeah? Well, nobody can hack me! Someone hacks me, know what I’d do to them?”

    Me: “No, they’d didn’t hack the users. They got into the network, credit cards, and accounts. Stuff like that.”

    Guy: “No. You know what I’d do to them? I’d hack them back! I’d send them a Trojan horse virus!”

    Me: “O…kay?”

    Guy: “Yeah, I’d send them a Trojan horse virus that’ll set their computer on fire!”

    Me: “O…kay?”

    Guy: “Yeah. I got these two Trojan horse viruses, see. One that’ll totally wipe them out and if that doesn’t work, the other one will set their computer on fire! You know something? That virus is illegal in all 50 states except one. Michigan. And you know who wrote it? I did.”

    Me: “O…kay. Right then.” *goes back to working counter*

    Guy: *a little while later* “You know what I hate? People who act like they’re better than you. Like they know more than they think you do. I know stuff. I got a nursing degree from Washington State Community College!”

    Me: “Yup. Sure thing…”