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    Ignorance Really Is Bliss

    | Kalamazoo, MI, USA |

    (This happens at the end of the transaction, which up to this point had gone perfectly normally. The customer has paid in cash, with 40-some-odd cents in change.)

    Me: “There’s your receipt sir. Would you like to donate your change to the Children’s Miracle Network today?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “Well, if someone has less than 50 cents in change back, I usually ask them if they would like to donate their change.”

    Customer: “Donate?”

    Me: “Yes, our company exclusively supports the Children’s Miracle Network. At every store, we have donation jars like this red one. We collect change for the Children’s Miracle Network.”

    Customer: “What’s that?”

    Me: “The CMN? It’s a non-profit that helps sick kids find hospitals and treatment.”

    Customer: “Sick kids?”

    Me: “Yes, if a child is terminally ill or sick with a rare disease, the CMN will help them find treatments and even help with bills and such.”

    Customer: “There ain’t no sick kids!”

    Me: *confused* “Yes sir, plenty of kids are diagnosed with illnesses like cancer or other diseases.”

    Customer: “Why are you doing this!?”

    Me: “I’m sorry? Why am I doing what?”

    Customer: “Lying to me! I don’t wanna hear about no sick kids! I gotta go to work! All I wanted was to buy my coffee! I didn’t want no guilt trip! Let me see your manager!”

    (My manager had already heard the ruckus as she was crouched behind the counter collecting checks from the safe.)

    Manager: “Yes, sir, how may I help you?”

    Customer: “I just want my coffee! I don’t understand about these sick kids! Why did she tell me about the kids?”

    Manager: “Are you confused about the CMN sir? I actually have some brochures in the back that talk about their non-profit services.”

    Customer: *throws hands in the air* “Argh! There ain’t no sick kids! Shut up about the sick kids! I don’t understand!”

    (The customer storms out with his coffee, leaving me holding his change in my hand.)

    Manager: “It’s nice when the customers want to donate their change. Really gives them a good feeling, you know?”

    Me: *drops customer’s change in jar* “Yes, ma’am.”