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  • If There Is A God, He Obviously Owns A Dog

    | San Jose, CA | Top

    (Note: this takes place during the middle of a bad rainstorm.)

    Customer: “Hi, I wanted to start bringing by dog here but I wanted to make sure that the animals get a lot of exercise.”

    Me: “Oh, we just have them in rotations to run on a treadmill. You see, they help to generate power for our building. I think we have Sandy, a cute little chihuahua going right now.”

    Customer: “You’re joking, right?”

    Me: “Haha, yeah.”

    (Moments later, my coworker comes in from the back.)

    Coworker: “Hey, Sandy’s loose again. Have you seen the pop-up fence?”

    (As if on cue, the storm knocks out power to the building right then and there.)

    Customer: “Oh my god! I’m calling Animal Services and reporting you all!”