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    If At First You Don’t Succeed, White Lie Again

    | Canada | Top

    (Note: I help callers with connection problems to our wireless zones along train lines.)

    Me: “Hello, tech support. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “I can’t access your network!”

    Me: “I’m sorry about that, let me help you. Where are you currently, sir?”

    Caller: “I’m traveling in between [city] and [another city].”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry sir, but there is maintenance being done in that zone. You will have to wait 20 minutes until you are back in a working zone.”

    Caller: “What can I do?”

    Me: “Just wait till the train is a bit farther on, and you will have a connection again.”

    Caller: “This is terrible! Where’s your manager?”

    Me: “Sir, it’s 4 am so I’m the only one working.”

    (The customer hangs up, but then calls back again.)

    Me: “Hello, tech support. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “F***!”

    (Once again, he hangs up, and once again, he calls back.)

    Me: “Hello, tech support. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “F***!”

    (Again, he hangs up, and again, he calls back.)

    Me: “Hello, tech support. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Look, I have some important stuff to watch here. Can you fix the internet?”

    Me: “If you just wait 10 minutes sir, your internet will work again.”

    Caller: “So, in my zone, there’s no internet?”

    Me: “That’s right, sir.”

    Caller: “Can’t you move the satellite so I do have internet?”

    Me: “You want me to go into space and move the satellite?”

    Caller: *cheerily* “Yeah, that’s right!”

    Me: “Umm…well, that might take me a little bit of time, sir. I’ll have to call NASA and they’re very busy these days.”

    Caller: “Oh. How long do you think it’ll take?”

    Me: “About 10 minutes.”

    Caller: “That’s great! Thank you.” *hangs up*