Didn’t Order It With Salami

(My boyfriend and I order a pizza.)

Boyfriend: *grabs a slice of pizza, takes a bite, then puts it back in the box*

Me: “D*** it, [Boyfriend]! Quit doing that! I don’t want your mouth germs all over my half of the pizza!”

Boyfriend: “You kiss me all the time! What’s the difference?”

Me: “Yeah, well, I suck your d*** all the time, but I still don’t want you flopping it out on my food!”

Boyfriend: “…good point.”