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    I Said, Zzzzip It

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA |

    Customer: “I’m trying to add an FTP user, and I can’t figure out what to do.”

    Me: “Alright, sir. I see that this is on a server for which you declined a support contract. All I can do is to direct you to the help center article that will instruct you how to do this; I can’t add it for you, or walk you through it.”

    Customer: “Look, all I’m trying to do is add an FTP user.”

    Me: “Sir, when you purchased this server we offered a support contract, which you declined–”

    Customer: “I just want to add an FTP user! You should be able to do that for me!”

    Me: “–and when you declined the support contract, you had to click on a button to accept full responsibility for managing your server.”

    Customer: “This isn’t a server management issue. I’m just trying to add an FTP user.”

    Me: “Sir, true or false? You purchased this server from us.”

    Customer: “True.”

    Me: “You declined the support contract, true or false?”

    Customer: “True.”

    Me: “And you accepted full responsibility for managing the server, true or false?”

    Customer: “True.”

    Me: “…so, why are you asking me?”

    Customer: “…” *click*