I Have A Beef With Asking Where’s The Beef

(My mom and I have just ordered some sandwiches to go. Note: this restaurant has a well-known jingle that lists all the ingredients in said sandwich.)

Me: “Uh… Mom? We need to go back.”

Mom: “Why? You got your food, right?”

Me: “Well, yes, but they forgot something important.”

Mom: “What?”

Me: *sings the jingle* “What’s the first ingredient listed?”

Mom: “Meat.”

Me: “Yeah… they didn’t put that in.”

(We drive back, and walk inside to ask for a manager.)

Employee #1: “What’s the problem?”

Me: “There was a mistake with my sandwich. I’d like a replacement, and my money back, since I had to drive all the way back.”

Employee #1: “You ordered [sandwich name] and you got [sandwich name], so what’s wrong with it?”

Me: “What’s the first ingredient in the jingle about the sandwich?”

Employee #1: “Jingle? What jingle?”

Me: *sings the jingle*

Employee #1: “Huh. Never heard it before. So, what’s wrong with your sandwich?”

Me: “It’s missing the meat.”

Employee #1: “…And?”

Me: “And I’d like to talk to a manager, get a new sandwich and my money back since I had to drive all the way back here.”

(The employee shrugs, and despite looking confused as to why I want a new sandwich, fetches his manager.)

Manager: “What’s the problem, miss?”

Me: “I ordered this sandwich, and there’s no meat.”

(The manager looks at the packaging then opens the sandwich.)

Manager: “What the?! I’ll get you a new one, and your money back.” *to the line cooks* “How on earth did you manage to make a [sandwich name] without the meat? THE INGREDIENTS ARE LISTED ON THE BOX JUST LIKE THE JINGLE!”

All of the employees: “What jingle? ”

Me: *sings the jingle again*

Manager: “SEE? She knows it!”

Employee #1: “Never heard it before. Who wrote that?”

(Both the manager and me say the name of the restaurant at the same time.)

Employee #1: “You sure? Never heard it. Here’s your food, ma’am.”

Mom: “I knew this place is going downhill in quality, but you’d think that they’d, you know, at least have heard their own commercials.”

Me: “Come on, let’s just go…”

(I’ve played it safe since then, and stuck with chicken nuggets!)