(I was working my shift at the dorm security desk when one of the building’s residents walked up.)

Resident: “Ow! I just burnt myself.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. How did you burn yourself?”

Resident: “I licked the flame part of a lighter.”

Me: “What–why?!”

Resident: “I wanted to see what it would taste like. I knew it would be hot, but I wanted to know what KIND of hot…like, maybe it would be SPICY hot.”

Me: “…”

Resident: “Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.”