Hulk Smash Weasel Customer

Me: “Thank you for choosing [Pizza Place]. My name is [My Name]. How may I help you today?”

Customer: “Do you guys make custom deep dish pizzas?”

Me: “If by ‘custom’ you mean like a chef’s choice, then yes, we do.”

Customer: “And how much is that?”

Me: “Well, a regular-sized deep dish, with tax included, will come to $18.01. With that, you get a choice of three toppings.”

Customer: “Great, then gimme a pizza with half pepperoni, sausage, and mushrooms. On the other half, I want roasted veggies, bacon, and spinach.

Me: “Okay sir, now I must warn you that your new total comes to $24.37 because you have six items total.”

Customer: “What? No, I have three items on each side. Therefore, I should be fine.”

Me: “Sir, I do apologize for the misunderstanding. While it is true that you have three items on each side, the items are on ONE whole pizza. So, we have to charge you for the three extra toppings.”

Customer: “Now listen here! One regular deep dish is equal to two individuals, correct?”

Me: “Yes, but–”

Customer: “HEY, shut up for a second! Now, two individuals are equal to one regular. CORRECT?”

Me: “Yes, sir, it is.”

Customer: “Now using this logic, I should get my pizza for the price of two individuals.”

Me: “Sir, as much as I would like to agree with you, I simply can’t–”

Customer: “Let me see your manager. It’s obvious I can’t reason with you.”

(My manager comes up to deal with the situation. I walk away from the scene to seat some guests, when I hear…)

Manager: “HEY, THREE PLUS THREE EQUALS SIX! YOU HAVE SIX TOPPINGS, SO YOU OWE $24.37! HAVE A NICE DAY!”

(The guy quietly paid for his food and walked out like someone just threatened his life!)

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