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    How To Scam A Scammer, Part 3

    | Washington, DC, USA | Top

    Me: “Good evening, how may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I placed a carry-out order there tonight and it’s all f***ed up!!”

    Me: “Ok ma’am, I’m sure we can resolve this.”

    Customer: “This always happens here.”

    Me: “Have you placed a lot of carry-out orders with us within the past few weeks?”

    Customer: “Yes, four in the past two weeks, and they were all wrong.”

    Me: “Well were they expensive items? Such as our 20oz porterhouse or our foie gras? Or were they cheaper items such as potato skins?”

    Customer: “Both. Mostly porterhouse steaks though. And I want free food to make up for all of this, and I want it delivered.”

    Me: “Well ma’am, I’d be happy to do that.”

    Customer: “You’d better be!”

    Me: “May I have your name, and address so I can have these delivered?”

    Customer: “Amy ***. My address is ***.”

    Me: “Thank you, ma’am. Just so you know, we have never carried a porterhouse steak, or foie gras. Nor have we had potato skins in the past 5 years. By the way, we have not done carryout for 7 months. And to top it off the police will soon be heading over to that address that you so graciously gave to me; undermining a store keeper is a crime in this city. Have a nice night.”

    Related:
    How To Scam A Scammer, Part 2
    Lesson 1, How To Scam A Scammer