How To Kill “To Kill A Mockingbird”

(A teenage girl and her mother enter the store and walk over to the counter.)

Me: “Hello, can I help you with something?”

Teen: “Yeah, like, do you have, like, To Kill a Mockingbird?”

Me: “Yes, we do. If you could follow me, please.”

(I lead them to the book’s location, where we have two different copies.)

Teen: “Mom, pick the smaller one!”

Mother: “Honey, you know that doesn’t make the story shorter, right?”

Teen: “Oh.”

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