November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

How To Identify The Idiot

| Montreal, QC, Canada | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Money

(I work at the call centre of a theater.)

Me: “Good morning. You are calling [Theater Name].”

Caller: “I got an email telling me that I’ve been charged for tickets that I didn’t buy! I want a refund! This is fraud! Someone did ‘identity theft’ to me!”

Me: “All right. Let me just see in the account. Can you tell me the email address?”

Caller: “It’s [email address].”

Me: “Okay. I do see that a purchase matches this email address. Are you Marc?”

Caller: “No! I want my money back. This is fraud!”

Me: “However, this seems to be the email of a garage. Do you own a garage? Maybe one of the employees is named Marc and could have used this email address when he made the purchase?”

Caller: “No this is fraud! I don’t have employees!”

Me: “Okay, maybe it’s one of your friends? Do you maybe know a ‘Marc’ living in Laval?”

Caller: “That’s the guy that stole my identity? Do you have his address? Give me his address! I’m gonna go f*** him up!”

Me: “I can’t do that sir. Even if you don’t know the person who made the purchase, sometimes people make mistakes while entering their email address when they make a purchase online. It happens all the time. Now I can verify that you have actually been charged—”

Caller: “This is bulls***! My identity was stolen. This is fraud! FRAUD! I’m calling the cops!”

(He hangs up. Twenty minutes later we get another call.)

Police: “Hi. This is [Name] from the police department. I’m here with a man that says he was victim of identity theft and fraud from your company?”

Me: “Actually, he got an email confirmation of a purchase made under someone else’s name. He hung up before I could verify if his credit card was actually charged.”

Police: “All right. Could you check this with him right now?”

Me: “Sure. Can I speak with him?”

Caller: “Yeah?”

Me: “Like I tried to tell you before you hung up, sir, I can verify if your credit card was actually charged. Could you give me your card number, please?”


Me: “…”

Police: “I’ll take it from here. Thank you.” *click*