(I am working the cash register at a popular Tex-Mex chain. I am serving a customer who has been kind of rude, and seems like he is in a huge hurry. I have tried to be as pleasant and quick as possible.)

Me: “So, your total is $34.”

Customer: “Can you guys take tips?”

Me: “No, I wish.”

Customer: “Okay. Here. I’ll give you this $50, and just… um… forget my change.”

(He did. He walks out leaving me the remainder, about $16!)