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    Horizontal Distance, Loopy Thinking

    | Raleigh, NC, USA |

    Me: “Good evening, thanks for calling [hotel]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’d like to make a reservation. I’m with the *** wedding party.”

    (I take down his information for dates he’ll be staying and size of beds. Then, we get to the type of room…)

    Me: “… And would you like a standard room, or would you prefer poolside, or could I interest you in a suite or other luxury room?”

    Customer: “I want a standard room. It needs to be near an elevator, because my wife has back problems.”

    Me: “We also have rooms on the ground floor with parking directly outside, which would be much less walking.”

    Customer: “No. I want it near an elevator.”

    Me: “Sir–”

    Customer: “It’s about the horizontal distance.”

    Me: “Sir, there is no parking near the elevators, and it would be farther for her to walk to the elevator.”

    Customer: “She can take elevators, it’s about the horizontal distance.”

    Me: “Yes, sir. I understand, but we have rooms on the ground floor with parking directly outside. It would be much closer than if you had to park and then take the elevator.”

    Customer: “I want to be near the elevator!”

    (I put him in one of the standard ground floor rooms anyway with adjacent parking, for the sake of his wife.)