You Can’t Say Father Without Saying Fat

(I have said for years that I’m sure when my husband and I have a kid, it will turn out to be twins. We are at a grocery store picking up our bags at the cash register.)

Me: “Here, you take the heavy one. You’d better get used to it, because when we have twins you’re going to be carrying the fat one.”

Husband: “The sad thing is that you’ve already decided there’s going to be a fat one.”