Customer: “I need to make a copy of this key because the police need to use this one in an investigation.”

Me: “Ma’am, this key is broken clean in half. I don’t think I can copy this.”

Customer: “Well you see, the police are investigating into the helicopters and I need another key.”

Me: “The helicopters?”

Customer: “Yes, yes. They break into my car.” *picking up a flashlight from the checkout counter* “Oh! I wonder if this flashlight is helicopter proof.”

Me: “Uh…I don’t know to be honest.”

Customer: “Well. The helicopters always make things stop working suddenly.”

(She clicks the flashlight on and off until suddenly it no longer turns on.)

Customer: “Ah, there. Not helicopter proof. They’re in my veins, you know.”