High Heaven

(In my government class, we are learning about the First Amendment and how schools can restrict the rights of students. In one supreme court case, a student was suspended for holding a ‘bong hits 4 Jesus’ sign along the Olympic torch route.)

Teacher: “Even though this student obviously just wanted to attract attention, the supreme court decided that he was promoting drug use so the suspension was constitutional. Are any of you really dumb enough that ‘bong hits 4 Jesus’ would convince you to smoke pot? I mean, maybe if he had a better slogan—”

(Students start calling out.)

Student #1: “Cannabis for Christ!”

Student #2: “Mary Jane for Mother Mary!”

Student #3: “Joints for Jesus!”

Student #4: “High for the Highest Power!”

Student #5: “Bud for the Babe!”