He’s Just Been KO’d

(I’m shopping at my local major games retailer, where the staff and I have an excellent relationship. I am finishing up my transaction when I hear a 12ish-year-old boy convincing his mother to buy him ‘Call of Duty: Ghosts.’)

Kid: “But Mom, all my friends are playing it! They’re already making fun of me because it took me so long to get a PS4!”

Mom: “Okay, okay… and you’re sure this isn’t a bloody or inappropriate game? I don’t like the look of the soldier on the front. I don’t want you playing anything like that Grand Theft whatever game.”

Kid: “Oh, my god, Mom. I’m not a little baby anymore! Just get me the d*** game!”

(Seeing the looks of apprehension and dread on the faces of the two guys behind the counter, as they now have the unhappy task of explaining to the mother of this brat why she shouldn’t buy it, I step in.)

Me: “Miss, you should know that game is horribly violent and gory. It depicts lots of blood, war scenes, even an enhanced interrogation scene where you slowly kill a man for information. It’s something you’ll want to consider before buying it for your son.”

Mom: “Oh, my gosh! [Kid], is this true?!”

Kid: “No, Mom. He’s lying! He’s just some random fat guy!”

(At this little insult, I decide to really ruin the kids day.)

Me: “Ma’am, are you familiar with the MPAA’s movie rating system? Like how they rate movies based on their content? Well there’s a similar body called the ESRB, and they rate all major video game releases for their content.”

(I show her their emblem on the back along with the description for their rating.)

Me: “They even have a website where you can look up more specific details on each game. It’s a good way to research them.”

Mom: “Oh, wow… Thank you so much. Can I trouble you to recommend a game for him?”

(At this point, the kid is jumping up and down in frustration, making a scene, yelling at his mother, and calling me a liar. We choose a game and the mom questions the staff.)

Mom: “I’m in here all the time. Why have you never told me about this rating system?! That’s pretty irresponsible not to inform the parents.”

Employee #1: “Honestly, ma’am, we didn’t know you were buying it for a kid. We would’ve mentioned it if we knew.”

Mom: “Of course I bought it for my child! Honestly, what sort of adult plays these stupid games?”

Employee #2: “Me, my associate, the gentleman who helped you, and everyone who works at this store, to name a few.”

(The mom goes red and pays for the game.)

Mom: *on their way out* “When we get home, young man, I’m looking up all your games on this ESRB thing!”

Kid: “NO! DON’T LISTEN TO HIM! HE’S JUST A F****** FAT A**!”