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    Hell Hath No Fury Like A Customer Scorned

    | Oregon, USA | Top

    Me: *on the phone* “Thanks for calling **** Networks, how can I help you?”

    Caller: “I already called once today – I want you to stop sending me emails!”

    Me: “You’re getting emails from us? What do they say?”

    Caller: “It’s a bunch of delivery failure messages. I’ve gotten two thousand of them today, and I want you to fix it NOW!”

    (I start explaining how spammers forge emails, causing these kinds of delivery failure messages, and I begin to offer a workaround.)

    Caller: “NO! Stop bulls****ing me, just fix it NOW!”

    Me: “I’m trying to tell you that it’s not a matter of ‘fixing’ anyth–”

    Caller: “HEY! Can I just say something? I know a lot of stuff, and I know you can fix this, so JUST DO IT!”

    Me: “Well, it’s…”

    Caller: “JUST FIX IT! How long have you been Mr. Dumas?”

    Me: “Uh… what?”

    Caller: “Mr. Dumas! How long have you been Mr. Dumas?!”

    Me: “Is that a pun?”

    Caller: “Yes, and you’re a f***ing idiot! If you had half a brain, you’d be smart! So are you going to fix it or not?”

    Me: “Sure.”

    Caller: “Well, seeing as how you never asked for my name, I think you’re just trying to blow me off!”

    Me: “As I said, it’s not a matter of ‘fixing’ anything…”

    Caller: “Do you know who I am?!”

    Me: “No, you never told me your name.”

    Caller: “That’s right! And I’m not going to! I’m going to keep calling and wasting your time like you’ve wasted mine! I bet you could have handled 5 customers in the time we’ve been on the phone!”

    Me: “Yes, you’re probably right.”

    Caller: “Well, I’m just going to keep calling!”

    Me: “Who will that benefit?”

    Caller: “ME!”

    Me: “How?”

    Caller: “VENGEANCE!”