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    He Fought The Law, And The Law Won

    | Concord, CA | Awesome Customers, Top

    (A man has been causing a ruckus at the registers for ten minutes and a line had formed behind him.)

    Man: “I’m a lawyer and I know my rights! If you don’t take this return I’m going to sue the living s*** out of you.”

    (A woman in a professional-looking business suit steps up to the register. In a cool professional voice, she asks to see the receipt that the man is waving. After a moment’s inspection, she gives him a hard stare over the rim of her glasses.)

    Woman: “Sir, the store’s return policy is clearly printed on your receipt. They cannot take back opened CDs.”

    Man: “But–”

    Woman: “FURTHERMORE, by purchasing from this store, you are accepting the store’s return policy as a signed contract that you agreed to abide by.”

    Man: “I–”

    Woman: “IN ADDITION, by blatantly trying to circumvent this contract signed by you, no judge would rule in your favor.”

    Man: “But I–”

    Woman: “If you really were a lawyer, you would be fully aware of this fact. By claiming to be a lawyer when you are clearly NOT, you are committing an act of fraud, which can get you arrested.”

    (The man turns white and flees the store without another peep.)

    Woman: “I’ve had eight years’ experience working behind the registers, dealing with people like him. MAN, that felt GOOD!”