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    Have Barcode, Will Scan

    | Toronto, Canada |

    (I am helping my friend out at the grocery store she works at, with the manager’s permission. She’s stuck a barcode from an orange on my t-shirt, and it’s refusing to come off.)

    Customer: *places three individual grapes on the conveyor belt*

    Employee friend: “Sir, where are your groceries?”

    Customer: “These are my groceries.”

    Me: “Sir, you’ve only got three grapes.”

    Customer: “Yes, those are my groceries.”

    Employee friend: “Will that be all, sir?”

    Customer: “No, how much is she?” *points to me*

    Me: “Come again?”

    Employee friend: “Sir, I’m not sure what you mean.”

    Customer: “Your friend, the one not wearing the uniform. How much does she cost?”

    Me: “Sir, I’m not for sale.”

    Customer: “Well, do you work here?”

    Me: “Well, no, not technically.”

    Customer: “Are you shopping here?”

    Me: “Um, no. But–”

    Customer: “Well, then, why are you here?”

    Me: “I’m helping my friends out.”

    Customer: “But you have a barcode sticker on you.”

    Me: “Well, yes, sir. That was a joke.”

    Customer: “Well, that’s false advertisement.”

    Employee friend: “I’m pretty sure that isn’t-”

    Customer: “I’m going to need to speak with your manager!”