Has No Train Of Thought

(I work near a property of the Royal Family’s, which is open to the public unless a member of the Royal Family is in residence. Today, this happens to be the case, due to a homecoming procession for a returning regiment. Most tourists hoping to visit have been quite accepting of this, but one American tourist is not.)

Tourist: “Why can’t I get into the castle?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, the Palace is closed to the public today because Princess Anne is in residence for the homecoming procession. It’ll be open tomorrow.”

Tourist: “I’m not here tomorrow! I’m only here today! Why didn’t they hold it tomorrow, so I could go today?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but in fairness, they can’t have been aware of your travel plans.”

Tourist: “Bull-s***! I booked all of my train and plane tickets online!”

Me: “Good for you, sir, but I don’t understand.”

Tourist: “On the internet! They should have checked whether or not people are only going to be here for one day! It’s on the internet, so they can check, obviously! Are you an idiot? Stupid little girls that don’t even speak real English!”

(A soldier walking past the shop looks in, and hears the tourist ranting.)

Soldier: “Sir, do you have a problem with the British military or royalty?”

(The soldier is wearing a large knife on his belt, and carrying a rifle. The angry tourist quickly leaves.)

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