(It was past closing time, all the lights were off and the gate was half closed. I came out of the back to find a woman standing in the store.)

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, we’re closed.”

Customer: *slurred* “But I need to buy some peanut butter.”

Me: “I’m sorry, you’ll have to come back tomorrow morning, we open at 10.”

Customer: “I thought you were open till 9? You shouldn’t be closing early. That’s bad business.”

Me: “It’s past 9, ma’am.”

Customer: “But the bartender downstairs said it was another half hour until all the stores closed.”

Me: “How long ago was that?”

Customer: “It couldn’t have been too long. I only had a couple of drinks after he told me.”