Customer: “Which books would you recommend for a pre-teen girl?”

Me: “Well, that depends – does she like fantasy, horror, science fiction?”

Customer: “Whichever you recommend.”

Me: “I’m partial to fantasy myself.”

(I show her several series that I had read myself and enjoyed.)

Customer: “So you think she would like these?”

Me: “Well, I loved them a lot.”

Customer: “But do you think SHE will?”

Me: “I honestly couldn’t say, ma’am. You know your niece better than I do; I’ve never met her.”

Customer: *staring blankly at the books* “But do you think she will like them?”

Me: “If she doesn’t, you can give her a gift receipt and she can return the books.”

Customer: “I didn’t ask you about a gift receipt, I asked you if my niece would like the books you recommended.”

Me: “Ma’am, I am incapable of making up your own mind about books for someone I’ve never met.”

Customer: “I see. So, when they hire people for minimum wage, they really get what they pay for.”

Me: *sarcastically* “Corporate doesn’t provide mind manipulation skills as part of the hiring package, ma’am.”

Customer: “Well, they should!”

(She complains to a manager and walks out without ever making up her mind about a book for her niece.

Manager: “Did she seriously ask you to manipulate her thoughts about a book decision?”

Me: “I can’t make up my OWN mind sometimes, much less someone else’s…”