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    Gravity, The Universal Mood Killer, Part 3

    , | Washington, USA | Rude & Risque, Top

    (I work at a store that sells area rugs. We take a fair amount of phone calls from people who have questions regarding area rugs.)

    Me: “[Store], this is [name].”

    Caller: “Hello? I have a question. Can you help me?”

    Me: “Of course, what is your question?”

    Caller: “I can’t get it to stay up!”

    Me: “Oh…um…okay. What do you mean?”

    Customer: “My area rug! It’s old and I love it, but recently I can’t get it to stay up. The…what are they called? Fibers? They are all crushed and won’t stay up!”

    Me: “Oh, I see.”

    Customer: “I’ve been vacuuming it non-stop on all the different settings. It’s not as stiff and thick as it used to be. No matter how hard I suck, it just won’t stay up!”

    Me: *trying to stay composed* “Alright, well that does tend to happen with age. Rugs tend to get pile-crushing after long periods of heavy traffic.”

    Customer: “So, you’re telling me I can’t get it up because it’s old?!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, that is exactly what I’m telling you.”

    (I manage to keep it together for the rest of the conversation. However, my manager, who can hear the entire exchange, is cracking-up next to me the entire time. The innuendo was much thicker than her rug!)

    Related:
    Gravity, The Universal Mood Killer, Part 2
    Gravity, The Universal Mood Killer