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    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Crazy Requests, Top

    Customer: “Why won’t anyone help me?!”

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, I didn’t see you. What can I do for you?”

    Customer: “I’m a student, and I have an essay due in two days.”

    Me: “Okay, well what can I do for you? Do you need some research material?”

    Customer: “Research material?”

    Me: “Yes, like books, or websites, maybe news paper articles?”

    Customer: “No, I need you to type up my essay.”

    Me: “We don’t actually offer that service, but I can certainly find you a computer to use to type it up.”

    Customer: “Fine.”

    (I set the customer up on our word processing computer and give her some extra time to make sure she can get the essay finished. I then move away to continue working.)

    Customer: *at the top of her voice again* “Excuse me! What are you doing?”

    Me: “Did you need some help?”

    Customer: “You haven’t even started my essay and you’ve walked away!”

    Me: “Wait… are you asking me to actually write your essay for you?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “No, I can’t do that. You have to do your own essay, I’m afraid.”

    Customer: “This library is horrible!” *storms out*

    (Things didn’t end there; after leaving the library, the customer spent half an hour outside in the car park, screaming at people not to go inside!)