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    Gotta Love Them DIY ‘Puters

    , | London, ON, Canada | Top

    (I was working in warranties for a large computer manufacturer, mostly with businesses but a few individuals came through on the line here and there.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling ***. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “My computer don’t work.”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am. Can I get the serial number off of your CPU?”

    Customer: “My what?”

    Me: “The computer tower.”

    Customer: “Huh?”

    (I’ll spare you the agony but, I went on for about 3 more minutes trying to describe the CPU and getting nowhere.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t seem to be expressing myself well today. Can you describe to me all the computer parts on your desk? I’ll tell you which one the number I need is on.”

    Customer: “It’s just a keyboard and a screen, like any other computer.”

    Me: “Oh, you have a laptop!”

    Customer: “A what?”

    Me: “A little computer you can take with you. The keyboard and screen fold together with a hinge in the middle, right?”

    Customer: “No, I don’t! I don’t know what is wrong with you computer people today. First the sales guy tries to sell me a bunch of sh*t I don’t need in this big box package and now you don’t even know what a computer is! Brand new today and it don’t even work.”

    Me: “So…you just bought a keyboard and a monitor?”

    Customer: “What’d I need all the rest uh’ that sh*t in the box for? This was way cheaper! I ain’t stupid!”

    Me: “…”