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  • Gotta Hand It To Him

    | Campbellton, NB, USA | Bizarre, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

    (There is a really creepy guy who comes into our store almost every day. He usually just chats with the female staff, telling us all how sexy we are and inviting us over for coffee, and is generally harmless. One day near Halloween I am on a ladder stocking a shelf when I feel someone rubbing my backside. I jump, nearly falling off my ladder, and turned around in time to see the creepy customer, smiling strangely at me.)

    Me: “Excuse me. Did you just touch my bottom?”

    Customer: “Who, me? No. No, not me.”

    Me: “I’m sure someone just touched me, and you were right there. Did you see who it might have been?”

    (The customer then holds up a rubber decorative hand from the Halloween department and looks me dead in the eye.)

    Customer: “It was him… I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT! IT WAS THE HAND! Unless you liked it…” *winks at me* “…then it was me.”

    (He walks out holding the fake hand above his head, the whole time shouting to nobody in particular.)

    Customer: “It was the hand! Not me, but the hand! Come over for coffee and see what my hand can do!

    (We didn’t even bother to stop him from walking out without paying for it. The $2 just wasn’t worth it.)