Coached In Difficult People

(I am a customer flying alone on a major airline, and am seated next to a high-powered middle-aged couple. They try to order drinks before takeoff, and being refused seems to set their tone for the rest of the flight. They complain to each other for the rest of the boarding process, and ring the stewardess button twice more before cruising altitude to see if they can order drinks. After a third explanation of when drinks will start being served, they try to persuade our flight attendant by sharing all their flying-coach woes. She agrees that it is difficult in coach, but that the drinks cart will come by once the plane levels off. They stare blankly, incredulous at her indifference to their suffering. I stare incredulously at them, because they’ve hardly left this woman alone since we came aboard.)

Man: “You have no idea how uncomfortable these seats are.”

(That is just too ridiculous, I can’t help myself:)

Me: “Uh, I think she does. She works here.”

(They stare at me like they have forgotten I was there.)

Me: “I bet she’d love to have our seats. All they have to sit on are little fold-out things that come out of the wall… when people like you actually let them sit down.”

(Nothing more was said between us for three hours. It was an awkward flight…)

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