Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Your Connection Is Totally Forked
    (2,143 thumbs up)
  • November Theme Of The Month: I Don't Work Here!
    Submit your story today!

    Got The Fraud On The Phoney

    | CA, USA | Awesome Workers, Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Top

    (I work at a call center for an online store. My job includes fraud prevention. If a caller dials in to place an order that seems out of place, I let my manager know. This is one of those times.)

    Me: “So, I’ve got a customer on the line here that uh… placed an order for a really expensive product. Expedited shipping. They want a tracking number for it. I’m not liking this.”

    Manager: “Do the billing and shipping match?”

    Me: “Nope. Completely different states, too.”

    Manager: “Hmm… did they order anything before?”

    Me: “Oh, yeah! They placed [order].”

    (After a few minutes of silent research…)

    Manager: *smiling* “Transfer them to me.”

    Me: “Okay?”

    (He puts it on speaker.)

    Manager: “Thank you for holding, this is [name], manager in charge. How can I help you?”

    Fraudster: “Yeah, I’m pretty mad at you guys right now. Been waitin’ for twenty godd*** minutes for a single trackin’ number! The last associate that talked to me is an incompetent b****!”

    Manager: “Oh, well I’m sorry to hear about that, sir. You mentioned that you were looking for a tracking number, is that right?”

    Fraudster: “Yeah! And while you’re at it just fire the last b**** I spoke to! She’s f***ing useless as h***!”

    Manager: “It’s going to be a few moments while I pull up the number. But how’re you doing?”

    Fraudster: “Well… now I’m doing good. You know what you’re doing, unlike that—”

    Manager: “That’s good to hear. Glad you’re not feeling guilty or anything.”

    Fraudster: “…For…what?”

    Manager: “For the fraud orders you’ve been placing on our website.”

    Fraudster: “Uh…”

    Manager: “I’ll be honest with you: I know what you’re doing. I’ve known for a couple of weeks now. So, tell me, how many cards have you stolen?”

    Fraudster: *scared* “Ju-just two—”

    Manager: “Hmm, okay. Well, I work pretty close with [other state's police department]. So, I’m gonna give you two choices. You can either turn yourself in like the good guy I’m sure you are. Or you can just sit there while I have them down there in a few hours, embarrassing you and your family.”

    Fraudster: “O-oh God. L-look, I—”

    Manager: “I’ve got them on speed dial.”

    Fraudster: “I’ll turn myself in!”

    Manager: *extremely cheerful* “Oh good. Now, what time should they expect you so I can let them know?”

    Fraudster: “T-ten o’clock in the mornin’.”

    Manager: “They’ll be waiting. Have yourself a good day, sir.”

    (And yes, he did turn himself in!)