Good News For (A Heckuva Lot Of) Change

(The following happens when a well-dressed man comes in with bags full of sweets and gifts.)

Customer: “What’s your favorite flavor?!”

Me: “I like the lemon.”

Customer: “Then, give me that! A large! It’s for my wife!” *shakes with excitement*

Me: “I guess those presents and sweets are for her, too?”

Customer: *shakes with even more excitement* “YES! Yes they are!”

Me: “Here you go. That will be five dollars—”

Customer: *unable to contain himself* “MY WIFE IS PREGNANT! PREGNANT! I’m going to have a little son or daughter! HIGH FIVE!”

(The customer proceeds to high five me over the register and throws a bill onto the table.)

Customer: “I’m going to be a dad! Keep the change!” *skips out of the store*

(The bill he threw? It was $50!)