Gone With The Wind, Part 2

(I’m suffering from gassy build-up, but for some reason, can’t let it out. I’m beginning to become incredibly bloated uncomfortable.)

Me: “What am I gonna do about this?”

Mom: “Well, I would say take some baking soda with water, but I don’t think we have any in the house.”

Me: “I have to do something. I can’t take this much longer.”

Mom: “Well, there is one thing your grandmother used to have us do whenever that happened to me or your uncles. Try massaging the lower part of your back.”

(I try that, and after about a minute, I proceed to fart continuously, and rather loudly, for nearly 45 seconds straight!)

Me: “Hey! You’re right! It worked!”

(That was the only time in my life that I have ever heard my mother laugh at anything related to flatulence.)