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    Give The Workers A (Prison) Break

    , | UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m on my way home after a hockey social, dressed as a prisoner in a bright orange jumpsuit and trick handcuffs. I’m pretty hungry, so I stop for food. Inside there is a drunk man yelling at the cashiers.)

    Drunk: “I said [competitor's signature item]! This is WRONG!”

    Cashier: “I told you, you’re at [place], not [competitor]!”

    Drunk: “I know where I am!”

    Me: “Oh, do you?”

    (He turns to me, and does a double take at my outfit.)

    Me: “Because I think you’re in a whole world of trouble.”

    (I start advancing, cackling Joker-style.)

    Drunk: “What ya gonna do, crazy b****?”

    (In answer, I stretch out, making it look like I’ve just torn apart my handcuffs.)

    Drunk: “Holy s***!”

    (I keep approaching, cackling.)

    Drunk: “Psycho b****!”

    (He throws his food at me and runs. I reach the counter, and drop the act.)

    Me: “Can I get a portion of nuggets, please?”

    (The cashier just stares at me for a moment.)

    Cashier: “Y’know, I think he was right on the crazy part. Nuggets coming right up.”