Give Me Whatever Moos

| TVM, Kerala, India | Food & Drink

(Note: most of our customers on our home-delivery call number are tourists, foreigners, or upper-class residents who speak in English.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you today? Would you like to hear about our specials?”

Customer: “Um, let me think. No?”

Me: “That’s quite fine. Can I take your order?”

Customer: “One stir-fried peas and three butter pattora please.”

Me: “Okay, one order of stir-fried peas and three butter parrota. Can I have–”

Customer: Not peas. It’s stir-fried peas.”

Me: “That is one stir-fried peas, right?”

Customer: “No! It’s PEAS! PEA-SEF!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I’m hearing stir-fried peas: P as in potato, E as in eclairs, A as in apple, and S as in suga–”

Customer: “No! No! Moooo!”

Me: “What’s that, ma’am? I didn’t hear you.”

Customer: “MOO! MOOOO!”

Me: “Oh! You mean beef. Sorry about that, ma’am. So, one order of stir-fried beef and three butter parrota. Are we good?”

Customer: “Ha! yes! Stir-fried pea-sef! *gives address*

Me: “Alrighty, we’ll have it delivered in 15-minutes. Have a nice day!”

Customer: “MOO! I will!” *click*