(I am selling souvenir programs and backpacks for Legally Blonde: The Musical in the lobby. The customer I’m talking to is a brunette; so am I.)

Me: “Would you like a souvenir program?”

Customer: “But you’re not blond.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am? Would you like a program?”

Customer: “This is Legally Blonde! You should be blond.”

Me: *thinking she’s joking* “You know, it’s funny…I was blond for six months and just dyed my hair back to my natural color before I found out this show was coming.”

Customer: *completely serious* “But you are not blond!”

Me: “No ma’am, I am not.”

Customer: “Why would they let you sell things for the show when you are not blond?”

Me: “Well, you don’t have to be blond to work at the theater.”

Customer: “But it’s Legally BLONDE!”

Me: *giving up* “You see, ma’am they needed someone who could do math, so they got a brunette.”

Customer: “Oh, that makes sense. I will take two, then!”

Another customer behind her: “Well played. Now I feel like I have to buy one!”