Getting The Caller Into A Lot Of Hot Water

(My father has a lot of telemarketers calling for my step-mother after they divorce because she had run up some credit cards. The calls are ridiculous. Even after telling them repeatedly she no longer lives with us, they keep calling. Apparently I sound like a child on the phone, so I come up with a new way to get rid of them.)

Me: *answering phone* “Hello?”

(The telemarketer pauses before speaking in a baby voice.)

Telemarketer: “Hi there, sweetie. Is your mommy there? This is an important call.”

(I grin evilly, and make my voice even more childish.)

Me: “She’s in the shower.”

Telemarketer: “Is your daddy around then?”

Me: “No, he’s in the shower, too. They are making funny noises. Do you want me to go get them?”

Telemarketer: *frantic and yelling* “NO! NO! DON’T GO IN THE BATHROOM!”

Me: “Are you sure?”

Telemarketer: “NO! For the love of God, don’t go in the bathroom! I’ll call back later! DON’T GO IN THE BATHROOM!”