I’m Not Very Personable

(I’m asexual, and I’m at school, sitting with a few friends. One is a straight guy, another is a bi girl, and the one right next to me is also ace — the phonetic shortening of ‘asexual.’ The bi and straight friends are talking and I’m not paying attention until they address me and my ace friend.)

Bi Friend: “Are you a boobs person or a butts person?”

Me & Ace Friend: “What?”

Straight Friend: “Which do you like better?” *turns to Ace Friend* “Are you a boobs person or a butts person?”

Ace Friend: “I’m… I’m not either. I’m just a person.”

Straight Friend: *turns to me*

Me: *before he can ask* “Buddy, I’m barely even a person.”