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    Getting Chesty About The Law

    | Rio de Janeiro, Brazil | Criminal/Illegal, Rude & Risque, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (I’m an American married to a Brazilian, and I spend several months a year in Brazil. I work at a beachside stall serving beer and snacks. A pair of American tourists are in front of me, and the woman is topless, which is strictly illegal in Brazil, but many assume otherwise.)

    Man: “Hi. Two cervezas and, uh, some chips. You got chips?”

    Server: *in Portuguese* “Ma’am, you can’t be topless here! The police could arrest you. You need to cover up.”

    Woman: “What are you talking about? I don’t speak Spanish.”

    Me: “Lady, he’s telling you that you need to cover up.”

    Woman: “What? Like h*** I do. This is Brazil!”

    Me: “Yeah, a Catholic country that bans public nudity. You can be arrested.”

    Man: “F*** off. This is Brazil. People go topless on the beach all the time.”

    Me: “Well, look around at the beach. You’re the only woman in sight without a top on.”

    Woman: “Mind your d*** business.” *they walk off in a huff*

    Server: “I wonder if they noticed that they’re about to walk right past three police cars?”

    Me: “Probably not.”

    (I stood there, sipping my beer, and watched as the woman was cited for public nudity.)