(Gassy) Rumblings Of Discontent

(I run an overnight shift at the store. It’s New Year’s Eve and we’ve got cars around the store when we receive a phone call.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Fast Food Place]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah… I just came through your drive-thru an hour ago and bought some potato wedges.”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “Well, I got home and ate them, and now I’ve been sitting on the toilet for the past half hour because of your food.”

Me: “Okay.”

Customer: “So I wanna know who’s responsible for this?”

Me: “Honestly, sir, we cannot take responsibility for your stomach problems.”

Customer: “Well, someone’s buying me a new pack of toilet paper because I’m out, and I’ll be d***ed if it’s me.”

Me: “Sir, we cannot pay for any household products…”

Customer: “Then why’d you sell me the wedges?!”

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