Fruity Is In The Eye Of The Beholder

| Scottsdale, AZ, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(I work front desk and am checking in a new patient. Note that I am a lesbian, wearing a clearly visible pentagram necklace, and am in a 5 year relationship.)

Me: “Good morning! Go ahead and sign in and I’ll let the doctor know you’re here.”

Patient: “Your eyes are gorgeous!”

Me: “Thanks. Have a seat while I look through your paperwork.”

Patient: *doesn’t move*

Me: “Ma’am?”

Patient: “Your eyes are really just so beautiful. I can see the power of God in you. You are truly an angel, do you know that?”

Me: “I…get that a lot?”

Patient: “Are you single?”

Me: “No.”

Patient: “Are you sure? Is it serious?”

Me: “Yeah, pretty serious.”

Patient: “Oh, but you’ll just love my son. You have to meet him as soon as he gets back from his Mormon mission!”

Me: “Uhm…”

Patient: “Are you sure you can’t consider breaking up with your boyfriend?”

Me: “I really don’t think she’d take that well.”

Patient: “What?”

Me: “I said I really don’t think I’m allowed to date patients or their family members.”

Patient: “Oh…but do think about it. Your eyes are really just so pure! He’d really be perfect for you!”

(She called several weeks later to say she’d been committed to a mental hospital.)