Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Talking At-At Cross Purposes
    (1,362 thumbs up)
  • September Theme Of The Month: Return Of The Geeks!
    Submit your story today!

    From Zero to Stupid In 10 Seconds

    | Dallas, TX, USA | Top

    Customer: “Hi, I just brought this machine. I hooked it up as per the manual and it won’t turn on.”

    Me: “Did you plug it in?”

    Customer: “Of course. I’m not an idiot.”

    Me: “Did you turn off the surge-master?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Double-checked all the wires?”

    Customer: “For God’s sake, YES! It was fairly simple; it’s all color-coded. You’d have to be a moron to make a mistake.”

    Me: “OK…why don’t you tell me what you did?”

    Customer: “I unpacked it, plugged all the wires in, and then plugged it into my outlet.”

    Me: “Then?”

    Customer: “Then I put the accelerator on the floor and stepped on it.”

    Me: “…ma’am, there is no accelerator on your computer…”

    Customer: “Yes there is! It’s that thing that has two buttons on either side, and that little wheel on the bottom!”

    (In case it wasn’t obvious, she had stepped on the mouse.)