(I’m working a game when an older man approaches me with his kid. Please note that I am 15 years old.)

Guest: “Hey, so it’s my son’s 15th birthday and I really need your help to give him his birthday spankings.”

Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

Guest: “No, really, I need your help to give him his birthday spankings. I’ll hold him, you spank him!”

Me: “Sir, I’m not going to do that. That’s guest assault!”

Guest: “Oh, c’mon! No it’s not! Look, will you marry me? Will you have my kids?”

Me: “Sir, I’m 15 too!”

Guest: “Oh.” *takes off at a very fast pace*