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    From Runaway Bride To Ex-Wife

    | Texas, USA | Spouses & Partners, Top

    (A few years ago I was working at a video store when there were still late fees, and this exchange occurred after I scanned a couple’s rentals:)

    Me: “Okay, sir, with the late fee from your last rental, your total is $9.50.”

    Husband: “What do you mean a late fee? I ALWAYS return my movies on time, so you need to remove that late fee right now!”

    Me: “Well sir, you returned–”

    Husband: “I said I ALWAYS return my movies on time and you need to remove that late fee right now! I’m not paying this!”

    Me: “Then you won’t be renting these movies tonight. All late fees must be paid before renting again.”

    Husband: “I’m NOT paying this, so you better take it off now!”

    Wife: “What movie is this late fee for anyway? We ALWAYS return our movies on time!”

    Me: “This is for Runaway Bride with Julia Roberts. You rented it on the 6th and it was due on the 11th, but you didn’t return it until the 15th. ”

    Husband: “Oh yeah, that’s right, we never got around to watching it. I’ll pay for it.”

    Wife: “We never rented Runaway Bride and I was out of town on the 6th.”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, it’s showing that Jennifer rented the title.”

    Wife: “Who is Jennifer?” *pauses and her face becomes red* “Oh, that b***h!”

    (The wife proceeds to slap her husband, takes the keys and drives away, leaving her husband in the store.)

    Husband: “Well, I guess I deserved that, huh?”

    Me: “Sir, you put your mistress on your account?”

    Husband: “Yeah, she likes movies…”

    Me: “You are aware that she could have opened her own account for free, right?”

    Husband: “Oh s***, really?”

    Also seen on: Not Always Romantic.