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    French Disconnection

    | FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Language & Words, Technology

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Hi. I’m looking for a specific game for my son and want to know if you have it there.”

    Me: “I can certainly check that for you, sir. What’s the name of the game?”

    Customer:John Dark.”

    (I look it up under both ‘John’ and ‘Dark,’ but nothing comes up.)

    Me: “I’m sorry. I can’t seem to find a game by that name in my system here. Are you sure that’s the name of the game?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I’m 100% sure. It’s for his PSP.”

    (At the mention of the PSP, I realize which game he’s talking about, and find it rather quickly.)

    Me: “Ah, I see. The name of the game is actually Jeanne d’Arc, and yes, we do have—”

    Customer: “No, that’s not the name of it. It’s John Dark.”

    Me: “I mean no offense by this, but I understand that it may be a little hard to pronounce. It’s Jeanne d’Arc. It’s actually French for ‘Joan of Arc.’”

    Customer: “But my son doesn’t speak French!”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to imply that you need to know French to play the game. It’s all in English; only the title is French.”

    Customer: “But my son doesn’t speak French! And it’s John Dark!” *hangs up*

    (I think that’s the end of it, but a little later that day, a man comes into the store and makes a beeline for the PSP rack, and finds the game.)

    Customer: “I want to by this game here, John Dark.”

    (I decide not to correct him, thinking there’s no reasoning with him, hoping I can just get him checked out quickly. As I’m getting the game, he comments.)

    Customer: “Yeah, I called earlier and one of your guys lied to me about this game.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry about that, sir. What did he say?”

    Customer: “He said that you have to speak French to play this game! But my son said you don’t have to speak French! And he doesn’t even speak French!”

    Me: “I deeply apologize for that, sir. I can assure you that you don’t need to understand French to play this game.”

    Customer: “Good. I’m glad I was able to find this John Dark game for my son!”

    (A regular customer of mine is nearby, and can’t stand hearing this guy talk.)

    Regular: “No offense, dude, but it’s called Jeanne d’Arc. I don’t even know French but I can still tell that that’s French for ‘Joan of Arc.’”

    Customer: “BUT MY SON DOESN’T SPEAK FRENCH!”