Four Score And Seven Years Is Not Enough Time

(We are talking about Lincoln’s assassination.)

Me: “Hey, Lincoln was a tall dude and he had a top hat on? Maybe John Wilkes Booth was tired of not being able to see the play.”

Friend: *with utmost sincerity* “Hey, dude, come on. Too soon.”

(There is a prolonged silence shared by the entire room.)

Other Friend: “Do… Do you know who Abraham Lincoln is?”