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    Fortunately, It’s Raining Pork Barrels And Earmarks

    | Lansing, MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Top

    (Background: I work at a small round lake about a mile in diameter. From any point on the shore you can see the edge of the lake all around. The lake is used for fishing and as such is full of sand and seaweed and fish.)

    Patron: “Hi, can you tell me what ocean this is?”

    Me: “Sir, this is a fresh water man-made lake, not an ocean.”

    Patron: “I mean, what ocean is it connected to?”

    Me: “It’s not connected to an ocean. It’s a man-made lake.”

    (The patron pauses and obviously decides to come at this from another angle.)

    Patron: “What river feeds this lake?”

    Me: “This lake used to be a gravel pit before they filled it in with water. It’s not connected to the river system. It’s man-made.”

    Patron: “Well, where does all the water come from?”

    Me: “The lake is filled with rainwater, mostly.”

    Patron: “That’s awful! I don’t want to let my kids swim in rain water… it’s dirty. You should keep the rain out of the lake!”

    Me: *sarcastically* “I totally agree. Maybe we can spend tax dollars on a tarp to cover the lake when it rains.”

    Patron: “That’s an excellent idea! I hope you mention that to your supervisors!”