Customer: “Hi, can I speak with [another employee] in the keyboards department?”

Me: “I’m afraid [another employee] is on maternity leave. Is there anything I can help you with?”

Customer: “Well, when is she coming back?”

Me: “Realistically, in about a year.”

Customer: “Well, can she hurry it up!?”

Me: “She’s… having a baby.”

Customer: “I know that! Just tell her to hurry it up!” *hangs up*