Me: “Good afternoon! Thanks for calling, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I just got off the phone with poison control!”

Me: “Oh? ”

Customer: “They told me to call you! Tell me; is your cleaning solution toxic?”

Me: “You mean the stuff we use to clean fresh ear piercings?”

Customer: “Yah, that stuff. I mean, I called poison control and they said they weren’t familiar with your product but to call you and find out what’s in it…”

Me: “Well no sir, I don’t believe it’s toxic. There isn’t really anything in here that–”

Customer: “–because I ingested a whole bunch of it!”

Me: “Why?”

Customer: “I was out of mouth wash. I needed mouth wash.”

Me: “But it isn’t mouth wash…it’s used to clean piercings…”

Customer: “I know, do you think I’m stupid?! That’s why I’m worried!”

Me: “Sir, it isn’t toxic. And for the record, all the ingredients are on the bottle itself.”

Customer: “Why would I look at the bottle? I called poison control!”

Me: “Mhmm. It’s not going to kill you sir. Just try not to drink any more of it, please.”

Customer: “Oh good. I’ll call poison control back and tell them that your cleaning solution isn’t a threat to public safety.”

Me: “Please do.” *click*