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    For Bitter Or Worse, Part 2

    | Sweden | Bizarre, Spouses & Partners

    Me: “Welcome to [Directory Enquiries Company]. You’re speaking to [my name]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Yes, I’m looking for the number to a man named [name]. I don’t remember where he lives, but I hope he shouldn’t be too hard to find.”

    Me: “That’s a pretty uncommon name, so he wasn’t hard to find at all. If you’d like to, I can send you an SMS to your cellphone with his information. Or, would you rather write it down yourself?”

    Caller: “Oh, I’ve never understood these cellphones, so I’d rather write it down myself, please. Just give me a moment to fetch a pen.”

    (Up until now, the caller has been very polite and calmer than a tibetan monk on Valium. Suddenly…)

    Caller: “GET ME A F***ING PEN, YOU F***ING IDIOT!”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Caller: “Oh, not you dear, I’m just talking to a good-for-nothing slob over here.” *to someone in the background* “NO, NOT THE FLYSWATTER! WHAT THE F*** AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT?! A PEN! A F***ING PEN, YOU IDIOT!”

    (The cussing and hollering goes on for about a minute before the caller gets back to the phone.)

    Caller: “Alright, I have a pen now. What was the number, dear?”

    Me: *reads the number to the caller*

    Caller: “Thank you, dear. You have been most helpful! Have a lovely day!” *hangs up*

    For Bitter Or Worse